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Hello dear reader, my name is Lily and I am a memoir writer. One of the most powerful tools in developing a compelling memoir is the use of dialogue. Dialogue allows us to create three-dimensional characters that readers can truly engage with. In this blog, I will share some insights and tips on how to effectively use dialogue to develop character in memoir writing.

1. Show, Don’t Tell

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When writing memoir, it’s important to remember that the reader wants to experience the story alongside the protagonist. You can tell readers a character is selfish, but it’s more effective to show them how the character’s actions reflect their selfishness through dialogue. Use conversations to reveal your character and their motivations, values, and personalities.

In this passage, for instance, instead of telling, we get to see the character and allow them a chance to jump out of the page:

“I can’t believe you’re leaving me like this,” John shouted over the phone. “You’re being dramatic. It’s only a week,” Mary said with a sigh. “A week is a long time without you. You know that.” “I have work to do. You’re a grown man. You’ll be fine,” Mary said before hanging up.

A man and a woman arguing on the phone.

2. Use Accurate Dialogue

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One of the most important aspects of writing dialogue effectively is capturing the way people really speak. Dialogue that feels forced, artificial, or inauthentic can quickly break the reader’s immersion in the story. To create realistic conversations, it’s important to study everyday speech patterns of people you want to characterize.

For instance, a lawyer will not sound the same way a construction worker will do. Also, it’s essential to remember some times it’s crucial to break a few grammar rules to allow for a more jarring or natural dialogue flow.

Here is an example of dialogue that might be corny:

“Don’t worry, Ella,” said the nurse with a grin. “I’m as tough as nails!” Ella’s heart sank. She knew this wouldn’t be easy.

A woman talking to a nurse in a hospital

And here an example of authentic dialogue:

“I mean, what do they think I’m supposed to do?” Sarah asked, tapping her foot impatiently. “Just sit around here and twiddle my thumbs?” “I hear you,” her friend Jack replied, nodding. “But maybe it’s better to relax and let things unfold naturally.”

Two friends having coffee in a coffee shop

3. Distinguish Each Character Through Dialogue

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Each character should have their own voice when it comes to dialogue. It’s important to make it clear who is speaking by varying their diction, tone, and phraseology. You can also use other elements, such as action beats to demonstrate who is speaking or their physical traits to distinguish the characters.

In this passage, we can clearly see two different characters just by the way they are speaking and the things they say:

“Can we talk about this?” Jason asked, putting his hands up in surrender. “No,” Jessica said, planting her hands on her hips. “There is nothing to talk about. You’re leaving and that’s that.”

A man and a woman having an argument in a living room

4. Use Dialogue to Build Relationships

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Finally, it’s important to remember that dialogue is not just a tool for conveying information about your characters - it can also be used to build and reveal relationships between characters. Use dialogue to show how people relate to each other, how conflicts arise, and how they are resolved.

For instance, consider this passage:

“You’re always so stubborn,” Anna said with a smile. “I am not,” John replied, grinning. “I just know what I want.” “You’re lucky I want the same thing,” Anna said, leaning in to kiss him.

A couple laughing and hugging each other in a park.

This simple conversation tells us a lot about this couple’s relationship, including that they have a playful rapport and that they are attracted to each other.

In conclusion, using dialogue is a powerful tool to engage your readers in the memoir. Through dialogue, you can show readers the way a character interacts with the world, deepen understanding of their character traits, and reveal relationships between characters. By using these tips, readers will fall in love with your life story and empathize with you on a much deeper level.

And that’s it, folks! I hope you enjoyed my humble writing. Don’t forget to explore other writing techniques to bring your characters to life! 🌟📝

A writing notebook on a wooden table with multiple pens, books, and a mug of coffee on the site